Dating A Writer 101

You may imagine that writers are similar to any other person when it comes to dating. You probably believe that we’re just artsy people who like to read a lot. Well that is true but that is not all that we are. Remember… don’t judge a book by it’s cover.

We zone out a lot
We’re daydreamers. Where do you suppose our stories come from? Our heads are filled with many different worlds where we can escape to, as we then to often do.

We’re possessive of our stationary
Do not move our pens! We have favourite pens and notebooks. Don’t write in our notebook… or read it unless we show you

Give us space
Many writers tend to be introverted. This doesn’t mean we don’t want to spend time with you but it means you need to let us have a bit of alone time so that we can wind down. Especially if we are tired from socializing.

Read our books… once we’re happy with them
We want you to read our work. Our writing is a way of expressing ourselves and we want to share that with you. We want to be able to chat about our stories and have you understand what we’re jabbering about.

Don’t say, “I’m not going to read it because I don’t read”
If you don’t read you won’t be a writer’s partner for long.

When we are excited about an idea, don’t put it down or criticize it.
We’re likely to try bouncing ideas around with you and occasionally there will be an idea we are really excited about. We’re going to tell you about these ideas and talk about how we will work it into our story. Our minds are made up about it. So don’t you trample our dreams with your criticism.

Only ‘help’ us when we ask for it. Don’t assume that we’ll take all of your advice though.
If we trust you as a partner we also respect your opinion on our work. However, this doesn’t mean that you’re suddenly our god of good literature. We’ll listen to your feedback and make the changes we believe will be of benefit. Don’t feel like we don’t care what you think when we don’t follow your advice.

We love to hear a good story
We love to spend time with people who like to talk about their lives. Even if it is just one small, interesting thing that has happened to you or around you. We expect you to listen when we tell you our stories too.

We’re insane… isn’t that right Freddy?
If you’re partner suddenly starts muttering to themselves or make strange faces, don’t be alarmed. They’re likely imagining a scene from one of their stories and getting overly involved. Not saying that some of us aren’t actually crazy.

We’re pretty public with our lives… Google me
Most people in the 1st world can discover a fair bit about us. If you’re wondering about what’s significant in our lives at the moment (and aren’t going to ask for some reason) then just check our blog. You can also read our biographies on our websites. Just use Google and you’ll find a lot of info on us!

Expect characters in our writings who seem suspiciously similar to you
We don’t necessarily go out of our way to base our characters on people we know. However, our writing can reflect our own lives and interests. If you’re an interest to us (which you would hope you were) then one of our characters might just find themselves with similar physical or psychological traits to you.

We reeeeally like pyjamas… don’t expect us to change unless we’re leaving the house.
Seriously, why should we change if we don’t have to? They’re comfier than any other clothing.

When we say we have “Writer’s Block” it is a serious problem
Don’t shrug us off when we’re having a mini break down, saying, “Calm down, you’ll be fine.” To a writer, not being able to write even though we want to, is like an athlete breaking their legs. The best way to help us would be to help us find inspiration. Running us a bath is a good start.

Make us hot beverages
We love hot drinks, whether it’s coffee, tea, or chocolate. We’ll think it’s super sweet if you place a cuppa next to us while were writing. It’s a good way to show you care about us.

Don’t piss us off
Make us angry and you might be killed off in our next book. We’ll be pretty imaginative with it as well!


Hope you guys enjoyed this post! If you have any other tid-bits about dating a writer that you would like to share please comment below :D

Scarlett Van Dijk

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